This poem should help you write those difficult thank you cards if you got a present as awful as Jon and Garfield’s!
CHRISTMAS THANK-YOUS [Mick Gowar]
Dear Auntie, Oh what a nice jumper.
I’ve always adored powder blue,
and fancy you thinking of orange and pink
for the stripes. How clever of you!
Dear Uncle, the soap is terrific.
So useful and such a kind thought
and how did you guess that I’d just used the last
of the soap that last Christmas brought?
Dear Gran, many thanks for the hankies.
Now I really can’t wait for the flu.
And the daisies embroidered in red round the ‘M’
for Michael. How thoughtful of you!
Dear Cousin, what socks! And the same sort you wear
—so you must be the last word in style,
and I’m certain you’re right that the luminous green
will make me stand out a mile.
Dear Sister, I quite understand your concern—
it’s a risk sending jam in the post.
But I think I’ve pulled out all the big bits of glass,
so it won’t taste too sharp spread on toast
Dear Grandad– don’t fret, I’m delighted.
So don’t think your gift will offend.
I’m not at all hurt that you gave up this year
—and just sent me a fiver to spend
I love the humour of the poem and also the kindness that lies behind it. Yes, some of the presents were truely awful but the narrator is careful not to offend anyone with his thank yous. I often think about what my worst present was and I always come up with the same answer; a rainbow striped jumper that itched from dawn till dusk…I wonder what positives I could use to descibe that!